They Know.

Dear College Girl,

Your silence is your response.

They know who you are, your requirements, what hurts you, what you stand for, and what you are about. There is nothing else to prove.

There are people in this life who thrive off of chaos, toxicity, and sadness because they never met peace. Peace is a stranger, a long lost friend, an unachievable reality, or simply an unreal fairytale. When we encounter people as such, you will never win. This does not mean you are not a winner, it just means it is a fight not worth fighting. Think about it: you live a life where you are always soaring for better, for more, for higher— you seek and work towards a better life every single day you are gifted with breath. This reality requires discipline, understanding the battles worth fighting, knowing the people worth entertaining, and a state of focus and grace for yourself. If this is the luxury you serve yourself and the inner peace you embody, that is like speaking a foreign language to someone who lives the opposite life. You can not make that crowd see you, feel you, or understand you. They will never see your side until they are called to sit with the consequences that their actions have brought to their life.

Speaking from experience, I have had friendships where I was wronged. Where I was seen as the little fish, played with behind the scenes, and thought of as less than. Every time I defended myself the situation only got worse. However, once I went ghost on those individuals, each and every one of them either had to respect my presence or apologize. Because of my silence, every one of those persons have nothing negative to say about me. If anything, they come back and apologize 99.9% of the time. that .1% of people opt to respect me from a distance and never badmouth me ever again.

Silence is such an undervalued statement. It makes room for people to gain awareness, clarity, reflect on their actions, and think about the person they want to become moving forward. It also helps people do better moving forward in their relationships. Sometimes the impact you make on someone else is not your words or your actions but your absence. Absence is a gift not a punishment. It shows you who you truly are and who you are not. What qualities you need to adapt and never qualities you should leave in the past. Transform those negative qualities into a positive so that the lesson is learned not just left. Acknowledge what once was and do not identify with it.

So College Girl,

just as you know what you are doing so do others. Some are blinded by their ego in the moment while majority consciously choose to hurt you out of the dissatisfaction they face with themselves and quality of their lives. It is not your responsibility to fix that. It is your responsibility to understand that 'they know’ what they are doing.

Sincerely,

Pitra